Updated: Oct 23, 2023
From my experience as an expat psychologist
In my life and practice as a psychologist, I often get faced with the need to find adaptive ways to process situations and events that have a high emotional charge, or load.
It can be a blessing to feel everything and so much, but sometimes the intensity or the novelty of what is happening in our lives, takes us to places that we don't feel we can control, or manage, effectively.
Depending on the content and the characteristics of what we're dealing with, we can feel angry, sad, anxious, blessed and confused, and all of these - and more - at the same time.
Getting to know, name and witness our emotions, as they arise and guide us in more or less conscious decisions, is crucial in living a fulfilling life. One that we feel we can inhabit with our whole self, and one that we don't have to hide from. Stepping up in taking the responsibility for what we're creating (and instead dropping it for what we're not), is fundamental in starting a shift from victimhood and helplessness, to confidence and agency.
Here are some of the ways I help my clients in achieving that:
Grounding in the Here and Now: One of the core principles of the way I do therapy is the emphasis on staying in the present moment. When emotions become overwhelming, it can be helpful to focus on our immediate sensory experiences. Paying attention to our breath, the sensations in our body, or the surroundings. Through this, we stay connected to the here and now rather than getting lost in the intensity of our emotions.
Expressing and Owning Emotions: It is important to acknowledge and express your emotions rather than suppressing or denying them. We give space and permission to feeling whatever there is without judgment. I encourage you to use statements such as "I feel angry" instead of "You make me angry."
The Empty Chair: This technique involves imagining a person or a part of the self in an empty chair and having a dialogue with it. This allows feelings and projections to be processed and owned. We sometimes also discover perspectives of a situation which weren't conscious before.
Practicing Suspending Judgement: When we start assessing and exploring situations and reality through our dialogue, and judgements come up, I encourage you to see them and name them, while at the same time suspending them. We strive to give space to whatever judgement is present, even the ones arising between us, and then move away from the need to naming it right or wrong. We simply put it in brackets and we move on.
Exploring the Polarities: Often polarities or conflicting parts of oneself come out when we start seeing all the sides of an experience. Sometimes they're cooperative and collaborative with each other, and sometimes they're very conflicting. By exploring and integrating these parts, we achieve a greater sense of self-awareness and emotional balance.
Integrating and Giving Closure to any Unfinished Business: Once we have explored and expressed emotions, I help you integrate the experience. This may involve finding closure, resolving conflicts, or developing a deeper sense of resolution with whatever happened.
Homework and Self-Exploration: Whenever it is relevant and appropriate, we may come up with ways you can continue to grow in between therapy sessions. It has included paying attention to specific dynamics, journaling, mindfulness practices, or experimenting with new ways of responding to emotions and situations.
Overall, we strive to engage with emotions in an experiential way, while gaining insight, healing emotional wounds, and developing healthier ways of relating to ourselves and the world.
In my personal practice, I have found that these principles can be a huge asset in helping clients who moved countries in navigating new situations. In my work, I integrate those with my personal experience and intuition, to help expats, people of mixed backgrounds, or simply English-speaking folks, in navigating, adapting and flourishing into their new lives in Italy and elsewhere.
