BEING AN EXPAT TODAY

Since the very beginning of humanity, some people decide to leave their homeland looking for better life opportunities. The geopolitical and economical situation of the XXI century led to a significant increase in migration across Europe. Non-EU citizens living in EU in 2021 are more than 5% of total population, according to Eurostat. Italy experienced one of the biggest expatriates growth, starting from a relatively homogeneous population in the '80s and ending with the 8,7% of resident foreigners in 2021. The Metropolitan City of Turin is just above the national average, having tracked an expat every ten inhabitants in 2016.

Even if the term expat - shortened colloquial form of expatriate - means generically a person who lives far from his country of birth, these people could experience very different social, economical and psychological conditions, according to some factors. The most important are: development of their origin country, personal education level and social family status.

Commonly referred expats are people with high level of education, significant working skills and good positioning on the labor market. They usually choose independently to move to a foreign country, in order to learn a new language, follow their partner, complete their education, seek a better salary or experience a new culture and a different daily routine.

Usually, because of their level of education, expats don't experience many problems in finding a house, a proper job or to get papers done, but they do experience challenges especially when it comes to socializing and getting used to the local culture. Because of this peculiar condition, almost every expat will experience a certain range of psychological difficulties, often related to loneliness.

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Loneliness

Especially at the very first stage of one's new life, feeling lonely is unavoidable. Leaving one's native country behind to start over again could be exciting and motivating at first, as it helps to expand knowledge and to follow new opportunities. On the other hand, it implies losing contact with people and habits that have supported one's life up until that moment.

Hard times and difficulties in adapting are very common for an expat, who has to make efforts to increase their language skills and to get used to the new routine, as well as having to deal with regular work-related and family-related stress. Moreover, many expats just have little leisure time, and it becomes hard to find people who share their interests, values and cultural references.

Despite being surrounded by colleagues and (possibly) family members, it is quite easy and common for an expat to feel lonely. Emotional loneliness is not necessarily connected to companionship, but it's most likely originated by a lack of connection with the people they share homes, workplaces and cities with. Loneliness is a lack of pure bonds, deep friendships and moments of human sharing, where someone feels safe enough to reveal their true self and emotional depth.

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The conflict between nostalgia and independence

Sometimes, loneliness is not a problem in itself. Sometimes, it can be a great starting point for building a new, solid and satisfying network of human relationships. But first, one needs to accept the feeling and to start working on the ability to deal with it in a positive way.

It's surely important for an expat's mental health and emotional balance to keep in touch with family members and old friends, to ask them recommendations and to stay up to date with what happens back 'home'. Missing one's native country is in fact also perfectly normal. However, those chats and events usually take place online, so they should be carefully balanced in order to leave way to other people and activities directly involved with one's new daily life.

If an expat is facing inner barriers to form deep bonds with new people, holding onto old ones could be useful in the immediate, but it doesn't suffice in the long run. Sometimes, it could even be counterproductive to the integration progress, as it could tie him or her to a spiral of cultural inadequacy and home nostalgia. When we spend too much time online and in our thoughts, ruminating, we could spiral into existential loneliness, anguish and general distress from where it becomes much harder to keep focused on one's goals.

If you are an expat in Turin and you're experiencing emotional or social loneliness, difficulties in adapting and need support in navigating your new life, book an intro session with me. I'll help you in better understanding your feelings and emotional needs with kindness, professionalism and empathy.

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